Missed Connections

Climate change is a very real thing.  Over time, nature and animals are remarkably adaptable...maybe we will be, too?

Recently, my own ability to adapt was challenged not once, but TWICE in a one month period of time when flights from Chicago to the East coast were cancelled.  The strong storms and winds hitting the entire east coast were enough to ground flights for days.  

The first time, I was traveling back to NYC with my Mom and brother after a wonderful family vaca to Yellowstone.  We ended up having to crash in Chicago overnight and then took a regional flight to a cab to a train to the Acela to get home.  Exhausting, but better than trying to fly through the huge storm that was impacting the coastline.

Then two weeks later, I was in Chicago for a wedding (which was lovely), and our Sunday morning direct flight from ORD to LGA got delayed...then delayed...then delayed...then cancelled 4 hours later.  The tricky thing this time was that we didn't have the luxury of time to be able to stay over and get on another flight the next day.  We had to be back in NYC before 9AM EST on Monday morning.  So we made the executive decision to rent a car at the airport and by 2:30PM started the 14 hour drive from Chicago to the UWS of Manhattan.  

We took turns driving and napping, and had to stop for gas about 4 times throughout the trip.  All intentions of limiting processed carbs and sugar went out the door.  For the first time, I had one of those 4 hour energy drinks.  

The trip was easy enough until about 11PM when the rain and wind really started.  Those two or so hours it was my turn to nap, so I did my best to close my eyes and rest.  My boyfriend did a great job staying focused and keeping us safe on the drive during that really tough few hours, but at around 2AM he really started to crash.  It was my turn.

We got gas at the creepiest gas station there ever was a little after 2AM and switched places to drive.  He fell asleep immediately in the passenger seat and so it was up to me to get us home.  

It wasn't raining anymore and it was actually very peaceful.  It was very dark, with few other cars on the road.  Just me and my high beams.  For the first 45 minutes or so I was pretty alert, but as we rounded into the 3AM hour, I did really get tired.  This part of the drive I knew well - just in through NJ, over the GW Bridge and down the Henry Hudson to get home.  As we got into the latter part of the 3:00 hour, there were also more cars that joined us on the road, so that helped.

But the unexpected thing that happened during the toughest part was that I found myself moving into almost a meditative state.  I don't mean I was literally meditating when I was supposed to be driving - I mean that I was so peaceful that I really started to find my energy and focus by going to my breath.  From there, I somehow naturally started to think about all the things I am deeply grateful for.  I started out small - thinking that I was grateful to have the option to get a car quickly and safely and drive together to get to our destination.  That I have the money to pay for gas and that along the way we had many options for food and coffee that were clean and at least moderately healthy.  I was grateful that I had all five of my senses.  I was grateful for my body, for music that's so interwoven into my life that even if the radio isn't playing, I still have songs in my mind and soul.  Then I was grateful for the wonderful boyfriend laying beside me, and the life we were driving back to.  Then I was grateful for the others in my life that make it so amazing and rich and worth living.  From family to friends to colleagues to clients.  I found myself just easily continuing to think through all of the wonderful things about being alive. Each time, I really FELT grateful.  In a really interesting way, instead of being more exhausted during this time, I found additional reserves of energy that felt as if they were at least partially fueled by my connection to myself and the gratitude I just kept churning out. Once again, my gratitude practice helped me navigate one of the more challenging physical and mental experiences I've had recently. 

If our flight went out on time, I would have never had the opportunity to experience this Reminder.  It was yet another Reminder that actually, the Reminders ARE always all around you, if you are willing and able to look.  Ah!  Incredible.  

I found a parking spot around the block from my apartment at 4:15AM that Monday morning.  We somehow willed ourselves up to bed and I got about 3.5 hours of sleep before I had to get up, return the rental car and get back to start my work day.  That night I remember crashing around 9PM and getting 9 hours of sleep that night.  I understand even better now why sleep depravation is a torture tactic.  

Looking back now though, I am glad we did it.  And I'm glad to know that my own Reminders and reserves of the stuff that I need to get through and evolve in this life is always right there.  Peacefully present, happy to be called upon at any moment.