Lately I've been thinking a lot about expectation.
I'm not thinking about it as it pertains to baking, or the weather or the stock market. I'm thinking about it in the ways in which it impacts my life in relationship, and those I've witnessed.
As I recall, most of the times I have been hurt or disappointed, a person or circumstance has not met with an expectation I had of it. Sometimes this expectation was known to the person. Many times it was not.
I think that perhaps placing expectation is an act of attempting control. Such a strong desire or need or want to make something happen, or to influence something, that expectations are put upon the person or circumstance.
I wonder, if you need to rely on control, or expectation, does that mean that you don't fully trust in something? Perhaps that something is in yourself? Perhaps that something is the knowing that all things are conspiring in your favor, ultimately.
There's a lot of talk about this out there and at the end of the day, I think that a world that isn't based on expectations, especially as it pertains to personal relationships, is healthier and more balanced. So at a certain point a few years ago I decided to live differently.
I have noticed that expectation can put the ownership of someone's feelings, choices, or reactions on someone outside of themselves, and this is where the real issue for me lies. What I have learned over and over again is that each of us has choices to make at each moment. And this is not meant to be cumbersome or negative, no! This is instead an incredible gift!
Imagine! The power and opportunity each of us has to take complete ownership and responsibility for our lives - what we do and how we show up. Amazing.
Also, not always easy, I know. Awareness of self and taking responsibility for ones-self is a moment-by-moment journey. But the rewards of living a life this way are worth it.
So as I think through old ways of thinking and believing; in expectation and disappointments; as I think through the ways in which I tried to grasp at a false sense of "control", I realize that the release of this and the reframing around abundance and choices that are based in love is where the real power lies - not that that's what I'm going for anymore :)
Isn't that fascinating?!