But what do you really want?

We are so surrounded by noise.  So much presumption.  So much expectation.  Both that is put upon us, but more, what we put on ourselves.  

Lately, in my practice of slowing down and taking a beat before moving along, I've been discovering that many of the choices I made, I made without thinking.  I did the thing I should do.  I did the thing that was expected of me.  And many times those things were also what I wanted to be doing in that moment.  But sometimes, they weren't.  

There was always a moment (blink and you might miss it) where I would have a gut reaction and either listen to it, or not.  This month, I decided to listen.  Oooooo was that hard! 

My default was to go right back to compromising; doing what I knew (or thought I knew) would be best for the other person or the situation.  It took a little practice to stop and think, and then FEEL what I actually wanted to do in any situation.  

Tougher still, was actually doing the thing I wanted to do after I uncovering what it was.  

Gradually, I am getting more comfortable with the idea of figuring out what I want, and then asking for it.  And honestly, now I am more proud of myself that I have been before.  I'm not justifying.  I'm not adding qualifiers.  I'm just listening to myself more and trying to remember to come from that place and be honest with myself and others.  

And isn't that what people want, anyway?  Don't they want to be engaged with and around someone who they can trust?  And shouldn't you trust yourself most of all?

I could go on and on with this I think because I'm just so excited that I am learning this lesson in my life!  More to come - but until then I wonder...

In what ways could you honor what you really want - and live that out?